Sunday, 1 November 2015

7

Unless you're a brain surgeon, there is nothing that quite prepares you for the yechhhh that is the inside of a pumpkin...

In the 30 years that I have lived under my own roof, I have never been much of a one for celebrating Halloween.  (I either go out, or close the blinds, turn off all the lights and hide in my basement.)  But this year, I decided to June Cleaver the heck out of the day.

For people that know me well, do not be concerned that participating in such a pagan ritual will get this grizzled, old Anglican churchwarden stripped of her position.  (Trust me when I tell you, nobody else wants my job.)  For us Protestant Christians, the supernatural has no association whatsoever with Halloween.  It is simply All Hallows Eve, the day before All Saints Day, a Christian feast day.

I did my share of trick-or-treating as a youngster, so it was time to give back.  Also, far more critically I think, this was an opportunity to be more visible to my neighbours.  Within the last several  months, there have been 2 break-ins on my block, both on my side of the street, so the locals are a wee bit nervous.  This was a great way to see and be seen by people who live nearby, and their children – the perfect weather allowing lots of mini-chats with wandering folks, from my porch.

If you're going to do Halloween, you've got to decorate.  Thanks to Wal-Mart, you can do it for practically nothing.  Some scary light reflectors for the lawn, an orange light bulb, a string of festive, mini orange lights for the porch railing, and I'm ready for an invasion of kids.  What's that?  I'm missing something?  Oh, that's right – a pumpkin! 

This is the gross part.  I could have used some festive orange latex gloves to clean this thing out.  Along with all the goo, there were about 200 seeds.  Well, go big or go home, right?  The only thing to do with all those seeds – roast them, of course!  

 
They're yummy!  Add white pepper for extra flavour.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 



Okay – you've waited patiently to see my very first candle-lit Halloween pumpkin...Here it is!
 

Pretty cool, eh?  (Good thing I took a photo when I did.  I left it out overnight, and a raccoon chewed off one leg and the thorax.)

It was a fun night.  I gave out all the candy, met lots of people, saw some great costumes – a few too many that were store-bought though.  (I usually made mine.)  And for the most part, the kids, or their parents, remembered to say thank you.  When the first of several kids arrived at my door with no loot bag and shouted "trick-or treat," I thought this was very odd.  Until they turned around to reveal an open back-pack filled with candy.  That's either just flat-out wrong – or very efficient.  I'm still trying to make up my mind.


And when someone knocked on my door dressed as the Grim Reaper, that kid got extra candy.  Anything to get rid of him (just in case it wasn't a costume).

One Thing That >50 Me Has Learned Along the Way...

Email and fax spammers are not the problem.  They want to make a buck, just like the rest of us.  They have bills to pay, too.  Yes, it's a bottom-of-the-barrel way to make a living.  We all think they're scummy.  But they do it because it works.  The problem is that very small percentage of people who respond.  If only humans could all get together as a species and collectively decide to never, ever, ever, ever make a purchase as a result of receiving an unsolicited email or fax, the spammers would eventually stop.  Why continue to do something that yields zero results?  But unfortunately, there will always be idiots out there in the market for enlargement creams and Nigerian inheritances.  We need to invent intelligent keyboards that realize what the idiot is up to, and just Taser them slightly.

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