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Let's admit it.  Haven't we all been at the grocery store sometime, and seen an infant perched in a shopping cart that reminded us we hadn't been down the pet food aisle yet? 

 

I read somewhere that all babies are born adorably cute so that their parents will instinctively love them and nurture them to adulthood, instead of just leaving them in a box at a mall.  It's just part of the human evolutionary process to keep us reproducing successfully so we don't go extinct. 

Well, once again, the theory of evolution takes a hit.  Because not all babies are cute - sorry, but they're not.  All a parent can do is hope that the baby's eyes uncross and its body catches up to its bowling ball head.  Either that, or pray the kid grows up to be a genius, as a trade-off.

Luckily, the new baby in my life is beautiful (not just when she's sleeping!), and perfectly proportioned.   Of course, I'm a little biased – I'm a new aunt, since Baby Girl finally put in an appearance in May.  The best part is that I got chosen to be part of her family, rather than being forced on her by blood relations.  Honourary relatives know they're wanted because they're hand-picked.

Babies are not great conversationalists, but they do make lots of weird noises, which you can entertain yourself for hours trying to interpret.  Any they have no qualms whatsoever regarding screaming, belching, farting and sleeping in public.  Parents everywhere (except those who have appeared on, or have ever watched, the Jerry Springer Show) must pray every day that their child outgrows these tendencies at some point. 

Other firsts come with the territory of being a new aunt.  Furniture shopping, for one thing.  I'm just lucky this thing fit in the back of my car.  Which is information I have stored for future reference.  Because now I want one of these things.  It's a glider.  It makes a rocking chair seem like a medieval torture device by comparison.  All moving parts are above floor level.  Baby Girl's household contains 3 cats and 1 dog, complete with tails - all 4 sent lovely notes of gratitude to me and my co-auntie. 

Next was the crib.  Thank you, IKEA! (Swedish for 'delivery is $99 extra' – totally worth it though).  New Dad is to be congratulated for putting it together without cursing even once.

And definitely not to be forgotten - baby clothing.  Unlike all babies, all baby clothes are cute.  You can get hooked on buying cute, little baby clothes faster than crack.  Shopping for this stuff requires reading tags.  For newborns, avoid anything with a label that says 0-3 months.  A baby will outgrow that size within moments of its birth.  Go straight to 6-9 months.  And limit your visits to Baby Gap, unless you've just won the lottery.  The cuteness factor is just too much to resist.  Think garage sales.   

I'm really looking forward to watching Baby Girl grow up.  Especially as she approaches the age where she realizes her parents are mortal creatures who impose rules, dispense punishment and cause embarrassment with their terminal lack of coolness.   That's when she'll come running to Auntie Gillian who, by contrast, will seem far more tolerable.

I recently spent an afternoon with my new niece alternately sleeping and bottle-feeding in my lap.  We enjoyed some wonderful bonding time.  

And yes - she peed on me.

 

One Thing That >50 Me Has Learned Along the Way...

Speaking of feeding - a person's taste in food can change radically over the years - I know mine has.  So we should not shy away from trying something that we've avoided like the plague since forever.  As an adult, we may eat things we never touched as kids.  (But not Brussels sprouts.  If you hate them as a child, you will always hate them.)