Such
a costume is ridiculous twice over for me.
First, it required me to sew, which I don't know how to
do. Securing a loose button – that's
about my limit. So I faked it. (Seamstresses know what basting is – others
can look it up if they care.) Second,
I'm dressed as a cook. Guess what else I
suck at? At my house, the microwave,
toaster oven and rice cooker do all the work.
When something dings in my kitchen, food is ready. But I'll have you know, my microwave is not
simply a glorified popcorn popper. It
also reheats Chinese take-out. Actually,
I do have one particular specialty in the kitchen – cleaning up after someone
else who made a mess.
A
reminder for next summer: I have held
many garage sales, and I can honestly say that if you're considering having one,
think some more. Consider whether it's
worth the time and effort. If you're doing
it for the money, forget it. For all the
effort that is required to run a successful garage sale, you won't be
compensated. Garage sale shoppers are
cheap. Particularly early-birds. No matter how ridiculously low your sticker
price is, they'll offer less. Before you
go to all the trouble of planning, preparing for and having the sale, be
advised that you may be dealing with people who will steal from you, give you
coins that turn out to be foreign and worth far less than their local lookalike,
expect a volume discount for buying two items totalling a dollar, or lie to you
when promising to come back later with enough cash to buy an item. Having a garage sale is a great way to get
treated with a total lack of respect. But
if you couldn't care less about the money - maybe you just want to get to know
the folks in your neighborhood and de-clutter - then a sale may be worth
it. Note: if you post very clear signage
that all your proceeds are going to charity, guess how much more generous
buyers become? Not at all. They don't care. If you can't resist trying, go ahead and have
your sale. Then at the end of the sale
(including all the clean-up - carting everything inside that didn't sell,
putting stuff away, getting rid of boxes, etc.), do the math. Multiply hours spent by the local minimum
wage. Did you make at least that
much? Yes? Great. No? Don't
ever do it again. Think Salvation Army,
Goodwill, leaving it at the curb. Weekends
are short enough.
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