2

I just attended my first Downton Abbey Theme Party.  Women only.  Go figure no complaints from any men feeling left out.  Party notifications included a photo of the three famous sisters, Lady Mary / Lady Sybil / Lady Edith.  Hmmm.   Widow and bit of a skank considering the morals of the time / dead in childbirth after marrying the chauffeur / adulteress unwed mother.  Ick.  I went as Mrs. Patmore, the cook.  Here's the embarrassing proof – me and my BFF, Liz (the 'lady'):
 

Such a costume is ridiculous twice over for me.  First, it required me to sew, which I don't know how to do.  Securing a loose button – that's about my limit.  So I faked it.   (Seamstresses know what basting is – others can look it up if they care.)  Second, I'm dressed as a cook.  Guess what else I suck at?  At my house, the microwave, toaster oven and rice cooker do all the work.  When something dings in my kitchen, food is ready.  But I'll have you know, my microwave is not simply a glorified popcorn popper.  It also reheats Chinese take-out.  Actually, I do have one particular specialty in the kitchen – cleaning up after someone else who made a mess.

 

One Thing That >50 Me Has Learned Along the Way...

A reminder for next summer:  I have held many garage sales, and I can honestly say that if you're considering having one, think some more.  Consider whether it's worth the time and effort.  If you're doing it for the money, forget it.  For all the effort that is required to run a successful garage sale, you won't be compensated.  Garage sale shoppers are cheap.  Particularly early-birds.  No matter how ridiculously low your sticker price is, they'll offer less.  Before you go to all the trouble of planning, preparing for and having the sale, be advised that you may be dealing with people who will steal from you, give you coins that turn out to be foreign and worth far less than their local lookalike, expect a volume discount for buying two items totalling a dollar, or lie to you when promising to come back later with enough cash to buy an item.  Having a garage sale is a great way to get treated with a total lack of respect.  But if you couldn't care less about the money - maybe you just want to get to know the folks in your neighborhood and de-clutter - then a sale may be worth it.  Note: if you post very clear signage that all your proceeds are going to charity, guess how much more generous buyers become?  Not at all.  They don't care.  If you can't resist trying, go ahead and have your sale.  Then at the end of the sale (including all the clean-up - carting everything inside that didn't sell, putting stuff away, getting rid of boxes, etc.), do the math.  Multiply hours spent by the local minimum wage.  Did you make at least that much?  Yes? Great.  No?  Don't ever do it again.  Think Salvation Army, Goodwill, leaving it at the curb.  Weekends are short enough.

1

I just wrote a complaint letter to a large, public corporation.  Nope, I've never done that before.  I've always figured, why bother?  What will it accomplish?  Nothing.  But that was <50 me.  For >50 me, it's not about accomplishment.  It's about venting.

In my many years, you can trust that, on the job, I have written countless business letters.  My usual method is to list the salient aspects that I want to express.  Then I write it, carefully formatting and crafting it with appropriate language and editing, to illustrate my points.

This time, I just spewed.  I wrote to Whomever, complaining bitterly about their discontinuation of a product that I've used forever.   Doesn't matter what the product is – that's not my point.  The point is, I think it's healthy to at least tell somebody you're mad. And I did.  Okay, I'll reveal this much.  The term "Big Pharma" might have been used.  In conjunction with a terrible reputation for various reasons.  Like over-paid execs who don't care.

(I'm not a conspiracy theorist – I don't run around shouting that they've found a cure for cancer but aren't telling anyone because cancer drugs are a multi-billion dollar industry and they're not about to give up an obscenely large cash cow.   I'll only say that if it turns out to be true, I won't exactly be shocked.)

By the way, I didn't email that corporation.  I printed out an actual letter – a piece of paper.  I put it in an envelope, applied a stamp and placed it inside a mailbox.   There was something almost cathartic about the process.  No, of course they won't start making that product again – but someone will read the words that I took the time to write.  And if only the phrase, "I'm angry," registers with one person who reads it, that person will know the company disappointed a customer.  That's good enough.

One Thing That >50 Me Has Learned On the Way...

There are no friends in business.  There are colleagues – superiors, peers, subordinates.  Unless that colleague is someone with whom you spend time on the weekends, plan getaways, exchange birthday and Christmas presents, go to movies or go shopping, etc., they are just a colleague.  If you really enjoy working with someone, that's a colleague with whom you have excellent rapport.  But still just a colleague.  Bottom line – do not ever tell a colleague anything that you would not want a superior to find out.  If you do, you will regret it.  Sooner or later, they will tell.  They may not like themselves for it, but for one reason or another, they will tell.  No, I'm not going to tell you how I know this – because that would be me betraying someone.  Just be still and know that it is true.

September 2015

This year, I turn 50.  You know what 50 looks like?  50 is going to the doctor for an annual physical, having the doctor hand you an envelope with 3 little popsicle sticks in it, with instructions that completely disgust you.  In addition to the mammogram order.  Thanks, Doc.  I feel like taking my chances with cancer.

 

Instead of 50 just being the year to start worrying about all sorts of diseases, I want this year to be filled with new experiences.  Little things.  Slightly bigger things. Within a reasonable budget.  50 things I've never done before, in my 50^th year.

No, I will not include the first thing that comes to mind.  There is only one good reason for jumping out of an airplane, and that is if it is on fire.  (Even then, I'd think twice about it.)  I am certainly not going to leap from a perfectly sound aircraft.

But there just have to be 50 new things that I can try.  Starting with writing a blog!  (Okay, I won't count that...)